Beyond the Veil with Granny Frass…

An Interview with Granny Frass (From Beyond the Veil)…

Who is Granny Frass?

For those of you new around here, Granny Frass is my maternal grandmother, or at least the character she’s become on this blog. In life, she was the backbone of our family: tough as old boots, sharp-tongued, but full of heart. She raised me, taught me about nature and gardens, and never let a day pass without reminding me to stand on my own two feet.

Now, in my little corner of the internet, Granny Frass has taken on a second life “from beyond.” She pops up here to share her wisdom, poke fun at family dramas, and occasionally deliver cutting commentary about Bully’s new truck or Fanny McFox rattling with pills. She’s equal parts spirit guide, comedian, and straight-talker, the kind of woman who could pray for you in one breath and scold you in the next. And my Aunty Fan was Granny’s sister, who used to read the tea leaves.

So, if you’re just joining us, buckle up. An interaction with Granny Frass is never simple, never short, and never without a laugh or two.

I set out to interview Granny Frass from beyond, but what I got was more of a family gathering. Turns out Aunty Fan doesn’t like being left out; she popped in halfway through with her usual sharp tongue.

Granny Frass: “Right, let’s get this over with. I’ve a card game starting, and Shakespeare cheats if you don’t watch him.”

Me: Thanks for squeezing me in, Granny. First question: what’s life like beyond the veil?

Granny Frass: “Grand altogether. Gardens everywhere, soil that actually listens, not like that miserable clay at Faurel Hill. But there’s no smell of turf smoke or a good strong mug of tea. Eternity’s fine, but I’d kill for a kettle.”

Aunty Fan (cutting in): “Would you listen to her! Surrounded by peace and love and all she can think about is tea. Typical.”

Granny Frass: “Ah hush, Fan. You’d moan too if your tea tasted like dishwater.”

Me: If you could tell the family one thing, what would it be?

Granny Frass: “Stop the fighting. Wills, land, trucks, nonsense, all of it. Love is the only thing that matters. Hug more, shout less. And for heaven’s sake, say what you need to say before someone’s in a coffin.”

Aunty Fan: “They won’t listen. They’re too busy poisoning themselves with pills and screens.”

Granny Frass: “You’re not wrong, Fan, but let me speak, you always liked the sound of your own voice.”

Me: Speaking of trucks… Granny, what do you make of Bully’s new one?

Granny Frass: (snorts) “Tin can on wheels. He struts around like it’s a throne. Can’t plough, can’t haul, can’t do a lick of work. More use to park it in the shed and grow spuds in it.”

Aunty Fan: “Ha! That’d be the first time he grew anything worth eating.”

Me: Do you still garden over there?

Granny Frass: “Of course. Plants burst with joy when you put them in the ground. No blight, no slugs, no rabbits. But I do miss yelling at you lot to water the beans.”

Aunty Fan: “She’s right. Half her gardening was just bossing people around. She’d have fainted if the cabbages watered themselves.”

Me: What advice do you both have for people down here?

Granny Frass: “Look up, not down. The sky has more wisdom than the news. Laugh loud, live messy, and for pity’s sake, stop filling your cupboards with pills.”

Aunty Fan: “And mind who you let into your heart. Not everyone who calls themselves family is worth the title. But if you find a soul who’s true, hold on tight.”

Granny Frass: “See? Every once in a while, Fan gets it right.”

Me: What surprised you most after crossing over?

Granny Frass: “That there’s no clipboard, no judgment. Just love. Pure and steady. I’d have spared myself a lot of worry if I’d known.”

Aunty Fan: “And no priests wagging fingers either, thank heavens.”

Granny Frass: “Amen to that.”

Me: Last one, what do you want people to remember about you both?

Granny Frass: “That I loved fiercely, even when I was cross. And that my door was always open with bread on the sill.”

Aunty Fan: “That I told the truth, even when no one wanted to hear it. Especially then.”

Granny Frass: “And that you were a pain in the arse, Fan.”

Aunty Fan: “Better a pain in the arse than a coward.”

Me: Before you go, Granny, any regrets?

Granny Frass: “Aye, plenty. Not speaking my mind sooner, for one. I held my tongue more times than I should have, and usually to keep the peace with people who weren’t worth the silence.”

Aunty Fan: “She’s right. Regrets are always about what you didn’t say, not what you did. Except in my case, I regret not smacking Bully upside the head when I had the chance.”

Me: Who surprised you most on the other side, who’s not there, or who is?

Granny Frass: (grins) “Well, I’ll say this much, heaven’s full of people you’d never expect, and missing a few you thought were saints. Some of the loudest hymn-singers didn’t make the cut, let’s just say that.”

Aunty Fan: “And some rogues with filthy mouths are up here laughing their heads off. The afterlife doesn’t buy into reputation.”

Me: Be honest, do you two ever spy on us down here?

Granny Frass: “Of course we do! We’d be bored stiff otherwise. I saw you the other night rooting through the biscuit tin when you thought no one was looking.”

Aunty Fan: “And I saw Fanny McFOX counting out her pills like they were gold coins. She rattles more than a bodhrán”.

Me: Last one, what’s the biggest secret you never told us while you were alive?

Granny Frass: (winks) “Ah, but if I told you, it wouldn’t be a secret, would it? Let’s just say there were more stories behind the hedges at Faurel Hill than you’ll ever hear in church.”

Aunty Fan: “And don’t you dare write that down. Some truths are for the spirit world only. But between you and me, Granny’s not half as innocent as she made out.”

Granny Frass: “Speak for yourself, Fan. At least I kept my menfolk straight.”

Aunty Fan: “Straight? Ha! Don’t make me laugh, I read your tea leaves back in ’62. I know what you were up to.”

And with that, the air went cold, the light flickered, and they were gone, leaving me with more questions than answers, as usual.

Mae 🧡