Farmageddon: Episode 100 in Bully Land…

Episode 100: The NPC Strikes Back 🎬

Previously, on Life in Bully Land…

A funny thing is that I was waiting to post an epic one for the 100th Bully post, and he complied!

Rust. Turf. Drama. A turf shed doubling as Jurassic Park. A villain who doesn’t twirl a mustache but does hoard prehistoric farm relics. And me, your unwilling lead actress, caught in the longest-running soap opera no one asked for.

And now, dear friends, we’ve hit it: Episode 100 on the Bully and Fanny BS.

It begins like any good thriller. I arrive home, and there’s Bully, the b*stard himself, performing what looked, at first, like an act of redemption. He was removing the Jurassic farm contraption from my turf shed. My jaw dropped. Could it be? Was I witnessing evolution in real time? A rare sighting of Bully’s long-lost human side?

For one fleeting moment, hope bloomed. I didn’t bolt. I didn’t shout. I simply stood there, watching as he maneuvered this rusted monster within two inches of my car (naturally, because why wouldn’t he?). And then it happened: the penny dropped, the camera panned, and the plot twist landed like a slap from the universe itself.

The Jurassic hulk was gone… but in its place gleamed a new mechanical invader.

Now let’s talk about timing. Because just a few nights before, I was secretly plotting in the fortress of my own brain to dump my next load of turf squarely on top of that rusted relic. I mentioned it only to two people I trust more than life itself. Yet somehow, here comes Bully, moving machinery around like a man possessed, as though he’d plucked the plan straight from my mind.

So, riddle me this:

Is my house bugged?

Is my phone tapped?

Or, and this is my personal favorite, is Bully actually an NPC, programmed to counteract every move I make?

Because truly, that’s how it feels. I think, “I’ll block the shed with turf.” He spawns with a new piece of farm equipment. I park my car. He materializes within two inches of it. He’s like a glitchy character in Grand Theft Auto: Bully Edition.

And here’s the blockbuster twist: maybe I’ve been giving him too much credit. Maybe he’s not malicious, not clever, not even aware. Maybe he’s just… empty. Imagine it: a man whose whole existence is one endless loop of rotating farm junk, playing Tetris with machinery no one asked for. No plot. No purpose. Just the b*stard, endlessly re-spawning with his next nuisance.

A sad life, really, if it weren’t so damn disruptive.

But here’s the truth: every great saga needs its villain. Every circus needs its clown. Every story needs its Bully. Without him, what would we even have? Peace and order? Boring. This blog would’ve died in its infancy. Instead, here we are 100 episodes deep (on the Bully and Fanny BS), still entertaining, still gasping, still shaking our heads.

So let’s raise a turf sod or a glass in celebration. 🥂

Here’s to 100 episodes of chaos, rust, manipulation, NPC glitches, and farmyard follies. And here’s to the next 100, because trust me, this show isn’t getting cancelled.

Mae 🧡