Keep Calm and Mind the Turf…
Some countries have emergency preparedness plans that involve complicated kits, evacuation routes, and color-coded threat levels. In Ireland? We’re a bit more… practical.
Step 1: Check the weather.
This is less about knowing what’s coming and more about preparing yourself for the fact that the forecast will be wrong anyway. “Light showers” might mean sideways hail, or sunshine so strong you’ll get burnt while hanging out the washing.
Step 2: Stock the essentials.
Tea, bread, milk, and a good supply of biscuits. None of that “plain digestive” business either, proper chocolate-covered ones, because hard times deserve good snacks.
Step 3: Mind the turf.
Forget gold, in a real Irish emergency, dry turf is currency. You’ll need enough for the week, and maybe a hidden stash for when a neighbor calls in “just for a chat” and leaves with half your pile. Damp turf is no use, it’s basically smoky peat mush, and will have you coughing before you’re warm.
Step 4: Neighbour watch.
It’s less “neighborhood patrol” and more keeping an eye out for someone who turns up mid-storm to “borrow” your iron, your lawnmower, or God forbid, your turf.
Step 5: Backup entertainment.
When the power goes out, the TV goes out (now this wouldn’t bother me!), and suddenly you’re left staring at each other. You’ll need cards, board games, or the ability to retell the same story three times without anyone realizing they’ve heard it before.
Step 6: Stay calm.
Panic is only permitted if the kettle won’t work. That’s a national emergency right there.
Step 7: Weather the weather.
With your raincoat, your wellies, and the quiet, smug knowledge that you made it through 2010’s Big Freeze, so really, nothing can touch you now.
So there you have it; Ireland’s true emergency plan. No sirens, no drills, just turf, tea, and the will to survive… in style.
Mae 🧡
UNDER THE WILL... OVER THE DRAMA... 
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