Episode 99 – Field Guide to the Narcissistic Sociopath …

Field Guide to the Narcissistic Sociopath (Faurel Hill Variety)…

Scientific Name: Egomax Controlus.
Common Name: Bully.
Habitat: Inherited property, family disputes, and anywhere rules are optional. Prefers environments where he can loom.

Distinguishing Features:

Inflated sense of self visible from 100 yards.
Smirks when confronted, vanishes when accountable.
Eyes scan for opportunity, not connection.
Immune to empathy, sympathy, and basic human decency.


Diet:

Thrives on attention, conflict, and the misery of others.
Supplements with secrecy and control over property access.
Avoids accountability at all costs (causes indigestion).

Behavior:

It will charm when a resource is at stake, then vanish like a politician after election day.
Uses silence as a weapon; every ignored email is a power snack.
Mark’s territory by withholding information.

Mating Call:
A carefully crafted half-truth, often prefaced by “I’m only telling you this for your own good.”

Defensive Strategies for Humans:

1. Document everything. Even “Good morning”, you’ll need proof one day.

2. Do not argue. He’s better at circular conversations than a washing machine.

3. Feed sparingly. Attention is his fuel; starve him out.

4. Maintain boundaries. If possible, with an actual fence.

Conservation Status:

Not endangered. Unfortunately.

And so, life at Faurel Hill continues, mist rolling in, kettle on, and the occasional sighting of the resident invasive species perched on his imaginary throne. I keep my notes, my humour, and my distance.
Because some wildlife is best admired from afar… preferably with binoculars and the safety of a locked door.

“Not all wildlife needs saving.”