UNDER THE WILL… OVER THE DRAMA…

Waking Up in a World Asleep…

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by

Mae Faurel
in

by Mae Faurel.

So I’m sitting here thinking about life. Not in some overly profound, incense-burning, yoga-on-a-mountain kind of way, just… quietly. Noticing how my thinking has shifted over the years.

I guess I’ve always questioned things, even as a child. But that got me labeled difficult. Too curious. Too sharp. Too sensitive. “Why do you always have to be like this?” they’d ask. And I’d wonder, genuinely, what’s wrong with me?

It took me years to realize the answer might be nothing. Maybe there’s nothing wrong with me. Maybe I was just seeing through something others couldn’t.

Now, I look at the world and see it like a massive game board. Life doesn’t feel like a linear story anymore, it feels like something we’re all participating in. A simulation. A test. A kind of dream where some people have started to wake up… and others are still sleepwalking, following instructions handed down to them by systems that don’t care whether they thrive or rot.

Take the plandemic, for example. I watched people swallow fear like medicine, while others, like me, stood back and said, “Wait… what is this really about?” The backlash was swift. But something shifted in me during that time. I stopped needing approval. I started needing truth.

I see large systems now. Government, pharma, religion, education, media, all feeding the same machine. I don’t say that to be dramatic. I say it because I’ve felt it in my bones. The programming runs deep. We’re born into it, rewarded for compliance, punished for straying. And yet… I’ve always strayed.

The more I learn, the less I want to win this game. What does winning even mean in a broken system? I’d rather remember who I really am, beyond all the scripts I was handed, and start choosing how I want to play. Not how I was told to.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m just cracked in the head. Like I’ve slipped into some strange dimension where everything I once believed looks hollow. But then I speak to someone else who’s seen it too, and I remember: I’m not crazy. I’m just awake.

If you’ve felt this way, like you don’t quite belong, like you’re seeing through things no one else wants to talk about, you’re not broken. You’re tuned in.

And maybe, just maybe, there’s a few of us here to play differently.
To break the loop.
To rattle the cage.
To rewrite the rules.
To remember.

🧡

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Comments

8 responses to “Waking Up in a World Asleep…”

  1. Alan Ryan Avatar
    Alan Ryan

    A great read. I get the not winning piece. But because I feel no longer bought into and consumed by the ‘machine’, I feel I am no longer losing to it.

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  2. Joey Jones Avatar
    Joey Jones

    Didn’t Leonard Cohen say something about cracks…and that’s how the light gets in?

    Liked by 1 person

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  3. gc1963 Avatar
    gc1963

    Like you I always felt “different” like not fitting in.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Mae Faurel Avatar
      Mae Faurel

      Geeta, there’s something strangely comforting about finding fellow misfits, isn’t there? Maybe we were never meant to fit in… perhaps we were meant to stand out and shake things up a bit. Here’s to being the beautifully different ones. 🧡

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  4. michael raven Avatar
    michael raven

    Some of us stand outside even the outsiders. Some of those still try to get in. Some learn to embrace their lack of status and carry on.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Mae Faurel Avatar
      Mae Faurel

      Yes, Michael, beautifully said. There’s a quiet strength in learning to stand alone, especially when even the outsiders feel like a crowd you’re not part of. But there’s also a strange kind of freedom in it… the kind that lets you write your own story, without needing a seat at anyone else’s table. Here’s to the ones who carry on anyway. 🧡

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  5. Bob Lynn Avatar
    Bob Lynn

    Your shift from “needing approval” to “needing truth” particularly struck me – that moment when external validation becomes less important than internal clarity. The question “What does winning even mean in a broken system?” opens fascinating territory. Have you found specific practices that help maintain this perspective when the world pushes back?

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    1. Mae Faurel Avatar
      Mae Faurel

      Thank you, Bob, that reflection really touched me. The shift wasn’t sudden, more like a series of little reckonings that eventually tipped the scales. As for practices… nature helps. Time alone in silence. Writing, of course. And asking myself: Would I still stand by this truth if no one clapped? That question keeps me honest, even when the world’s shouting something else entirely.

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