UNDER THE WILL… OVER THE DRAMA…

Episode 81- Spare Light-Bulbs …

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by

Mae Faurel
in

Episode 81- Spare Light-Bulbs & Spare Bullsh*t…

Growing up, my dad always had an account at the local hardware store. Nothing fancy, just a little family-run shop where you could pick up bits and pieces, light-bulbs, batteries, a roll of twine if you needed it. Every month, he’d send me in to pay the bill and, without fail, tell me to grab a few extra light-bulbs.

“We need spares,” he’d say. Even when we had a drawer full of the bloody things. I used to roll my eyes and think, Jesus Dad, we’re one light-bulb short of an airport runway already.

What I didn’t realize back then was that he was slipping. Dementia had started creeping in, and those spare light-bulbs were his way of trying to stay ahead of a world that was quietly closing in on him.

Then came the plandemic. COVID hit, lockdowns, fear, panic buying toilet rolls and baking bread like the apocalypse was carb-dependent.

And wouldn’t you know it, Bully seized the moment.

Suddenly, “Due to COVID and financial responsibility” (his words, not mine), the hardware store account was off-limits. Just like that. No more light-bulbs. No more bits and pieces. No more harmless errands that reminded me of Dad.

Another power play. Just like the way he rationed the bloody internet during lock-down, accusing me of being reckless with “resources” like we were stranded on a lifeboat in the middle of the Atlantic and Netflix would sink us all.

Thing is, it wasn’t about money. It was about control. It always is with people like that. COVID was just the latest excuse.

And you know what?
If speaking about it makes some people feel like I’m airing dirty laundry, then maybe the laundry needs a good blow on the line.

I’ll take my light-bulbs, my memories, and my truth, and hang them out for anyone who needs to see it.

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Comments

6 responses to “Episode 81- Spare Light-Bulbs …”

  1. sibongilecharitysehlake Avatar
    sibongilecharitysehlake

    This is teaching us to recognize signals early if we see an unfamiliar pattern that something is not right.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Mae Faurel Avatar
      Mae Faurel

      Unfortunately, I didn’t recognize that back then. Thank you for your insights.
      Mae 🧡

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  2. Mags Win Avatar
    Mags Win

    Thank you, for this post. After reading this I now know what I knew nothing about when it was happening. My husband began buying clothes hangers every time we would go shopping where they were available. We had many of them already and did not need any more. I never could figure out why he was bent on buying more hangers. Now that I have read about your dad and lightbulbs I know. Like you I didn’t know then but, he was in the early stages of dementia. I have donated many of the hangers but still have a whole lot of them. Thank you again for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Mae Faurel Avatar
      Mae Faurel

      Thank you so much for sharing that with me. It’s strange how little things like that-things that seemed odd or even frustrating at the time—take on a whole new meaning when you look back with clearer eyes. I completely understand what you mean about the hangers now making sense after hearing about the light bulbs. It’s one of those quiet signs we don’t recognize until much later, and it can feel both comforting and heartbreaking at the same time. I’m so sorry you went through that, but I’m grateful we could connect over these shared experiences. Sending you a big hug from here.
      Mae 💛

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      1. Mags Win Avatar
        Mags Win

        I am grateful too that we could connect over the shared experiences. Hugs to you, Mae.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Mae Faurel Avatar
        Mae Faurel

        Right back at you Mags 🧡🧡🧡

        Liked by 1 person

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