Episode 61 – The Great Sewing Machine Heist…

The Great Sewing Machine Heist (and Other Paranormal Events at Faurel Hill)…

Sometimes I wonder if Faurel Hill isn’t actually in Ireland but in some twisted alternate universe where the laws of logic and decency – have packed up and left.

Shortly after Dad passed, I decided to make curtains. A wholesome domestic impulse, right? I had visions of channeling Mam, threading up her old faithful sewing machine, which had lived here quietly for decades. Only one problem: it had vanished. Poof. As if spirited away by poltergeist or, more realistically, pilfered by Fanny Fingers when no one was looking.

But wait, there’s more. A few weeks later, I step outside and think, ‘Didn’t there used to be concrete planters here’? Yes. Yes, there were. Heavy ones. The kind that take two people and a strong back to move. Gone. Along with the plants I’d actually grown. Who nicks plants, I ask you?

And Aunty Fan’s antique wooden farmhouse chair? Evaporated. Perhaps it walked off to escape the family drama. Wouldn’t blame it.If I didn’t have photos and memories, I’d start to think I was losing my grip. But nope, turns out gaslighting and sneaky removals are just part of the Faurel Hill Estate Clearance Experience.

Some families grieve by supporting each other. Others prefer to inventory and extract anything not nailed down (and even then, they’ll bring a crowbar).

Lesson Learned:

When a loved one dies, expect casseroles, condolences… and covert removals of household goods. Grief hits some people in the tear ducts; others feel it in their grabby little hands. Always take photos before the funeral. Better yet, install motion sensors. Because while you’re lighting a candle for the departed, someone else might be wheeling away the family heirlooms in a borrowed trailer.