Petty Theft: When Control Comes in Small, Insignificant Acts..

You know what people rarely talk about when it comes to family dysfunction?
The pettiness. The sneaky, petty little acts that aren’t big enough to scream about but leave a bruise all the same. The acts that, over time, tell you everything you need to know about someone’s need for control.

I’ve lived this. I still live it.

Years ago, I had a my brother ( the other one!), bless him, help me move a heavy, rusted piece of metal equipment into my vegetable garden. It wasn’t worth a penny, hadn’t been touched in years, but I saw a way to repurpose it. Use it for something good. The very next day, it vanished. No conversation. No explanation. No trace.

Gone.

Fast forward to recently. Another small thing: an old, woodworm-riddled mahogany bookcase disappeared from the garage when my turf was been hijacked. It wasn’t valuable. It wasn’t useful to anyone but me. It wasn’t even intact. But it was taken. Not out of need, not out of accident, but out of a quiet, deliberate desire to remind me that nothing in this place is really mine.

On paper, they sound like small, ridiculous things to lose sleep over. And that’s exactly how people like this operate. They trade in small, spiteful gestures. It’s never big enough to call out without sounding petty yourself, which is the trap. The point isn’t the object. It’s the power.

It’s about making sure you feel unsettled in your own home. It’s about keeping you cautious, guessing and doubting your instincts. It’s about proving to themselves that they can reach into your world and move the pieces around whenever they please.

Why Do They Do It?

I’ve asked myself this more times than I can count. Why would someone go out of their way to be so petty, so small and so mean-spirited? And the truth is, people like this don’t always thrive on open conflict. That would take courage, honesty and a spine. It would also be visible and they don’t want to be seen as the villain.

Instead, they chip away at your peace in private. A turf episode here. An old bookcase there. A passive-aggressive text message slid quietly into your phone. It’s a slow erosion of your sense of ownership, control and safety.

It’s not about the stuff. It never was.

What Creates a Monster Like This?

Sometimes it’s mental illness. Sometimes it’s bitterness, envy or deep-seated insecurity. Sometimes it’s hate wearing a mask called ‘concern.’

But mostly?

It’s about control.

People like this resent your independence, your resilience, your refusal to stay small. They hate your quiet rebellions. The fact that you find peace in the things they discard. The fact that you can turn old, forgotten junk into something useful, or find joy in corners they’ve long since neglected.

They’ll never say it outright but your survival, your small acts of defiance, your ability to find beauty in wreckage – it enrages them. So they take what they can. Because in their head, if they can’t own you, they’ll damn sure try to dismantle you.

Why It Matters

Because these small, petty acts are never about the objects themselves. They’re about power. They’re about sending a message.
Don’t get too comfortable.
Don’t get too confident.
Don’t think for a second you’re safe here.

And if you’ve lived it, you know the weight of that message.

The Truth

If you’ve experienced this – if you’ve ever noticed things subtly disappear, plans get quietly sabotaged, or spaces rearranged without your consent – you’re not imagining it. It’s real. It’s calculated. And it’s cruel.

But here’s the thing:
They can take your old bookcase.
They can steal your scrap metal.
Hell, they can move your turf ten times over.

But they cannot take your voice.
They cannot take your truth.
And they cannot take your right to exist freely in your own damn story.

Every petty theft is a reflection of their own emptiness. It’s not about what you lose – it’s about what they lack.

And I refuse to let their smallness dictate the size of my life.

To anyone out there living in the shadow of petty control – you’re not alone. Your instincts are right. And your peace is worth protecting.

Even if you have to hide your turf.