UNDER THE WILL… OVER THE DRAMA…

When the Mask Slips: Inheritance, Greed and the Strange Coldness of Family..

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by

Mae Faurel
in


They say grief brings people together. But whoever said that clearly never sat across from a relative who sees your pain as a nuisance and your rights as negotiable. I didn’t know how cold someone could be until there was something they wanted to protect, something made of turf, land and legalese.

I keep asking myself: How can someone be so uncaring? So cruel? So calculated?
Is it the money? The inheritance? Or is it something deeper, something broken in them that was always there?

The answer, I’m starting to realize, is: yes. It’s all of it.

Greed doesn’t always make people evil, it just gives them the excuse. It tells them their entitlement is natural, that fairness is optional and that silence is safer than decency. Suddenly, kindness becomes a weakness and empathy gets buried under paperwork.

But for some, it goes even further.

There’s a particular kind of personality, some call it narcissistic, others call it dangerous – that doesn’t just ignore your feelings. It enjoys the control. It rewrites history to suit their needs. And it tells everyone else that you are the problem, just because you dared to speak.

I’m not here to diagnose. But I’ve seen enough to say this:
Inheritance doesn’t change people. It reveals them.

It shines a light on who’s capable of compassion… and who’s been waiting for an opportunity to punish you for simply existing.

Closing thoughts:

So no, I don’t think this is just about money. It’s about power, insecurity and a complete inability to treat people like people.

I may not have the truck, or the title deeds, or the legal budget.
But I do have clarity now. And I’m going to keep telling the truth – for myself, and maybe for someone else out there wondering if they’re crazy.

You’re not.
They just can’t handle being seen.

Next Blog

Comments

5 responses to “When the Mask Slips: Inheritance, Greed and the Strange Coldness of Family..”

  1. For Singles And Couples Avatar
    For Singles And Couples

    Yes indeed.
    Well said 👏👏👏.
    Grief (like money) is an amplifier of suppressed thoughts, characteristics, and behaviour.
    When exposed, what lies beneath, soon bubbles up to the surface in all of us, and for many, it’s not pretty.

    Our eldest child had diarrhoea for a few days, when we bought his sister home from the hospital.
    While you love them all equally, it doesn’t stop a discerning parent from noticing certain early-sign behaviours.
    Things which prompt you to keep an eye on them, and responsibly address, as they get older.
    All in an ‘attempt’ to prevent negative behavioural traits and characteristics later.
    He still grew up being self-centred, he wanted to be our only child, not the eldest of 6.
    His empathy and love for his siblings didn’t really develop (a lot like my dad) and despite our input in attempting to help him, he took that mentality into adulthood.
    It even reflected on his partner choice, ending up with a partner who is an only child, who was adopted by her parents.

    Does your brother have a partner?
    Does he have the capacity to be in a mature committed relationship?
    If so, is she just like him, or can you reason with her?

    Either way, Brother B sounds like an extreme version (in the that respect) of our eldest.
    Someone that probably sees you as an inconvenience, probably wished you were not born, so that he wouldn’t have to share, the ‘things’.

    I once felt the need to post a family/relative group message years back, when I was on Facebook.
    It was concerning our grandmother/mother, her care, property, and my mum’s role in looking after her.
    I simply encouraged them to seek professional counselling, because there are many people, who need of it.
    Yes, I’m the child/adult who would point out, what others wouldn’t, as in the Emperors new close story.

    There are people who can hold down a job and other basics, while having severe drink problems, aka functioning alcoholics.
    What many don’t realise, is that there are actually more people who can do the same, with mental illness…the functioning mentally ill.

    Sounds like Brother B fits that category, like many we know.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Mae Faurel Avatar
      Mae Faurel

      Hey,
      Wow, you hit the nail on the head with grief and money being amplifiers — when the mask comes off, it’s not always a pretty sight. Your story about your eldest really paints a picture; it’s tough when those early signs of self-centeredness carry into adulthood, despite all the love and effort you pour in. Sounds like he and his partner are quite the pair, both leaning into that ‘only child vibe. It’s wild how those dynamics shape relationships.

      As for Brother B, you’re spot-on—he does have a partner, and let’s just say she’s not exactly challenging his throne. She’s got her own assets, though, with land from her family, so they’re a matched set in their own league. I’d say she’s got her own streak of self-interest, which makes reasoning with her like talking to a brick wall with better hair. Brother B’s capacity for a mature relationship? Questionable at best. It’s less about partnership and more about mutual convenience. And yeah, I get the vibe he’d rather I didn’t exist to ‘complicate’ his claim to the shiny stuff.

      Your Facebook group message move? Bold and brilliant, like calling out the Emperor’s new clothes! Love that you went there. And you’re so right about the ‘functioning mentally ill – Brother B fits that mold, holding it together just enough to keep the show running, but the cracks are glaring. It’s like watching a high-functioning mess in action.

      Thanks for the applause and for sharing your insights—Granny Frass would approve! Keep being the one who says what needs saying. Any tips for navigating these family landmines without losing my sanity?

      Mae

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. For Singles And Couples Avatar
        For Singles And Couples

        🤣😄 A brick wall with better hair…
        That’s the one, right there…cracked me up.😂

        Like

      2. For Singles And Couples Avatar
        For Singles And Couples

        As for tips…
        You’re already on the right track.
        Try to see the funny side, laugh when you can, and try your best not to give BB or Fanny, any knee-jerk negative reactions, that’s what they want.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Mae Faurel Avatar
        Mae Faurel

        Thanks for the tips – you’re so right about keeping the knee-jerk reactions in check! Brother B and Fanny would love nothing more than to see me lose my cool, but I’m all about finding the funny side instead. Laughing at their antics is like stealing their thunder, and it feels so good. Appreciating the wisdom and definitely aiming to keep my chill while chuckling through the chaos.
        Mae

        Liked by 1 person

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