Episode 53 – Another Year, Another Bird…

Another Year, Another Bird: The Shit Show Continues..

You know you’re living a charmed life when a sparrow drops a little ‘blessing’ on you… again. And not just once. Not twice. Not even three times. No, no this marks ten solid years of avian assault. At this stage, I’m convinced the local bird population holds an annual general meeting about it.

‘Right lads – who’s up this year to shit on yer wan with the reddish hair?’

In Ireland, it’s said that if a bird poops on you, it’s good luck. Now, if that’s true, I should be winning the Euro-millions, married to Jason Momoa and sipping cocktails in the south of France by now. But instead, I’m here writing this with bird crap on my shoulder and a mildly offended ego.

Maybe it’s not luck in the ‘fortune’ sense. Maybe it’s life’s weird, messy way of reminding me:

• You can’t dodge the shite forever.
• Sometimes you’re the statue, sometimes you’re the bird.
• And if you can laugh when a sparrow craps on you, you’re already ahead of the game.

And as Granny Frass would say:
‘Sure if you haven’t been shat on lately, love, you’re not important enough to aim at.‘

Fair play to the little feathered hit-man who dive-bombed me today. You kept the tradition alive. I’ll consider it my yearly blessing, wear it like a badge of honor and remind myself:

If life’s gonna shit on you – at least let it be biodegradable.

Sláinte to that!

Lesson of the Day:

Life’s always gonna throw a bit of crap your way, sometimes literally. You can either moan about it or you can laugh, clean yourself up and keep strutting. And remember: birds aim for the ones worth noticing.