Episode 48 – The Soul Contract Nobody Warned Me About..

The Soul Contract Nobody Warned Me About

Or: Who Signed Me Up for Bully & Fanny?!

Long before I set foot (or boot) on this turf, I apparently had a meeting. A cosmic, high-vibrational, incense-filled kind of meeting. Picture it: velvet robes, lots of knowing nods and probably a harp playing softly in the background. My soul, full of enthusiasm and possibly a little too much celestial coffee, sat down with a spirit guide named Kevin.

Kevin: ‘Alright, here’s your Earth plan. You’re going to be wise, resilient, funny and deeply compassionate’.

Me: ‘Love that for me.’

Kevin: ‘And to unlock those traits… you’ll need a few advanced lessons. So we’re enrolling you in the School of Hard Knocks. You’ll be paired with Bully and Fanny’.

Me: ‘Chokes on stardust tea ‘I’m sorry, what?’

Kevin: ‘Oh they’re brilliant at triggering growth. You’ll get to practice boundaries, detachment, forgiveness and legalese. They’re masters of the art.’

Me: ‘Do I at least get a hobby farm or a decent view?’

Kevin: ‘Absolutely! But there will be a camera pointed at it. From a tree.’

Me: ‘Oh for feck’s sake.’

Kevin. ‘And just like that, I signed the soul contract. Probably didn’t read the fine print, who does?

Now here I am, years later, navigating inheritance drama with the grace of a llama on roller skates, wondering what kind of karmic prank this is. But maybe… just maybe… my soul knew I needed the fire to find my spark. Or maybe I just lost a bet in the afterlife pub. Either way, here we are. Soul growth: 10/10. Would recommend with wine.

Lesson of the Day:

Just because your soul signed up for growth doesn’t mean you can’t roll your eyes through half the curriculum. Growth is important, yes. But so is sarcasm, turf and a well-timed ‘No, thanks.’

Spiritual advancement doesn’t always look like lotus poses and gentle mantras. Sometimes it looks like changing the locks, dodging passive-aggressive emails and laughing through the madness with a mug of tea and your boots at the door.

You’re not failing, you’re just acting the advanced course.