Episode 34 – Because Who Needs an Alarm System?

Because Who Needs an Alarm System When You’ve Got an Old Dog and a False Sense of Security??

You know what’s fun? Living alone in the middle of nowhere as a single woman with a geriatric dog and thinking you have a working alarm system, only to find out it was cancelled behind your back.

That’s right. Bully Yates – my ever-thoughtful, totally-not-controlling brother decided to cancel the security system on my home. No warning. No conversation. No ‘Hey, would you like to continue paying for your own safety’? Not even a note tied to a rock thrown through the window (which, ironically, I wouldn’t have been alerted to because – spoiler alert – THE ALARM WAS DISABLED).

Let’s review:

• I live alone.
• In the sticks.
• With a dog who’s more likely to need a nap than defend the homestead.
• My front door now has the same level of protection as a cardboard box in the wind.

But don’t worry—I’m sure Bully had my best interests at heart. Maybe this is just his way of encouraging me to explore the thrilling world of hand-to-hand combat and makeshift booby traps. So thoughtful.

Was this about money? Power? A good old dose of family sabotage? Hard to say. But one thing’s crystal clear: my safety is definitely not on his radar. You’d think after firing a gun near my house for fun last year, he’d be more into boosting home security – not cancelling it. After all he installs spy cams. But here we are.

You really can’t make this stuff up.

Lesson of the Day:
If someone makes decisions about your safety without your consent, it’s probably because your safety isn’t what they’re trying to protect – it’s their control over you.

Also: don’t trust someone who thinks your 15-year-old dog is a suitable replacement for an actual alarm system. Love you, old man, but I’ve seen you sleep through a thunderstorm and a sandwich falling on the floor.