Episode 24 – When You Know Bully’s Brewing Something: Tea, Tension and Survival Tactics.

You ever get that feeling – deep in your gut?

When you know that something’s brewing? Like, you can’t see it yet, but you know it’s coming? That’s where I’m at today. Bully’s out there somewhere, no doubt pacing around, arms folded, face like thunder, trying to dream up his next great ‘master-plan’.

And me? I’m here, making a cup of tea, trying to stop my hands shaking from the pure anxiety of it all. It’s not fair, is it? You do everything right, you stay in your own lane, you set your boundaries – and still, you end up living with that awful knot in your stomach.

Not because anything has happened yet, but because you know the kind of person you’re dealing with.You know he can’t stand being told no. You know he won’t just let things go. Honestly, it’s exhausting. Living in that weird state of half-peace, half-panic. Waiting for the other shoe to drop – and knowing, with someone like Bully, it’ll probably be a big muddy boot, aimed straight for your head.

So here’s what I’m doing about it. And maybe if you’re going through something similar, it’ll help you too.

First: I’m not pretending anymore. I’m not sugarcoating it. I’m not saying ‘Oh, it’ll be grand’ just to make myself feel better. No.It’s a bloody awful situation and it’s okay to say that out loud.

Second: I’m getting my ducks in a row.I’m screen-shotting things, saving emails, writing down dates. Not because I’m scared – but because I’m ready. Bully loves surprises. I love receipts.

Third: I’m laughing. Because honestly – if I don’t find some way to laugh about it, I’ll drive myself demented. I picture Bully sitting there with a crayon in each hand, drawing a ‘revenge map’ with spelling mistakes and crossed-out ideas like ‘PLAN A: SHOUT LOUDLY. PLAN B: STOMP FEET’. It’s pathetic when you think about it properly. All that energy he could use to make a nice life for himself – wasted on petty nonsense.

Fourth: (and most important): I’m remembering who the hell I am. I have survived so much worse than Bully’s tantrums. I’ve stood alone when no one else had my back. I’ve stared down bigger bullies, colder silences and heavier griefs.

Bully is just… noisy. He’s not powerful. Not over me, anyway. And yes, I’m still anxious. I still jump when I get post or a strange car pulls up. I’m human.

But I’m not powerless. I’m not that scared person anymore. So, if you’re out there too – waiting for your own ‘other shoe’ to drop – know this: You’re not alone.You’re not crazy.You’re not weak. You’re bloody brave.

And whatever is coming? We’ll handle it.

Like we always bloody do. Now, where’s my tea…