Episode 19 -How to Train Your Bully – A Misfortunate Sibling’s Field Guide

Because some family trees grow twisted branches…

Ah, family – the great institution where love, support and shared trauma are all bundled into one inherited mess. But what happens when your sibling is less ‘dear relative and more ‘dictator with delusions of grandeur’?

Enter: the family narcissist. Or worse – the garden-variety bully with a turf obsession and an ego the size of Faurel Hill. Fear not.

I present to you: The Survival Guide for the Bullied, the Bold and the Basically Over It.

Step 1: Identify the beast in the wild. Does this person interrupt every sentence with a story about themselves? Play the victim and the hero in every tale? Forget your existence until they need something (money, land or your silence)? Congratulations, you’ve got a certified Narcissus Rex.

Step 2: Speak fluent boundary. Set boundaries like you’re building a stone wall – firm, moss-covered and not to be messed with. Phrases like:

‘That doesn’t work for me’.

‘I’m not discussing that again’.

‘Please direct your drama to the nearest turf pile’.

Step 3: Master the art of the blank stare bullies feed off reactions. Give them nothing. Nod. Sip tea. Mentally plan your escape to a peaceful, narcissist-free commune where emotional manipulation is banned and everyone shares the land… and the biscuits.

Step 4: Keep the paper trail sacred. Every text, email and passive-aggressive turf memo – save it. Think of it as your museum of madness, open for viewing when the solicitor-free showdown inevitably arrives.

Step 5: Laugh, because otherwise you’ll scream. Humor is your armor. Sarcasm, your sword. And memes? Your secret weapon. Sample Quote: ‘He said I was being dramatic. I said, ‘Thank you. I do try to keep things theatrical for the blog’.

Final Thoughts: Remember, you didn’t choose the drama but you can narrate it. Loudly, satirically and with the turf stacked neatly behind you like the emotionally exhausted warrior you are.