Episode 7 – Invasion of the Teenage Locksmith

Picture it: a quiet February day. I’m mid-shower, enjoying the fleeing illusion of privacy, when suddenly surprise! – my brother has decided to break into the house I legally reside in.

But wait, let’s back up.

He already had a key. But my key was in the lock from the inside (aka me simply existing in my home), so he couldn’t turn it. And instead of doing something wild like… calling, texting, or respecting boundaries, he chose Option C: B&E: Nephew Edition.

So he brought in his teenage son, who I’m assuming thought he was auditioning for Mission: Impossible: Rural Family Drama – and had him squeeze through an open window to unlock the door from the inside.

Like some kind of barnyard ninja.

And then, while I was still in the shower, he changed the locks and tossed a new key through the window like it was a fun little game of ‘Find the Clue or Stay Trapped in the Twilight Zone’.

I wish I was exaggerating. I truly do. But no, this was my Friday.

And somehow, I’m the one being treated like the squatter?

So just to recap:

• Legal right to live here? ✅
• Existing peacefully? ✅
• Brother breaking in through a window with child-accomplice because he was inconvenienced by my key? ✅✅✅

I guess if you can’t open the door, you just go full rural commando on the situation. And apparently that’s normal?

Anyway, no biggie – just another casual day of home invasion and lock-picking by relatives.

Lesson of the Day: In rural power plays, why communicate when you can just reenact a hostage rescue mission featuring your teenage son and an unlocked window?